Puppies Are Shit

Imagine that I were to say to you that "puppies are shit"; they ate my lego when I was a kid. Obviously, I'm not telling you that all puppies are shit – just the ones that ate my lego. But I am telling you that I think that puppies are shit – after all, that's exactly what I said. I could have said instead that they're cute little balls of cuddles that sometimes do shitty things like eating my lego. But I didn't. I said that they're shit. They're lego-destroying monsters. Still, some of them I assume are good puppies.

But imagine now that you're talking with a man. Like a puppy, this man belongs to a group with its fair share of assholes. Still, when you tell your friend that "men are shit", you're not saying that all men are shit, and it's only fair to expect him to understand that. It's only fair to expect him to be calm, rational, and reasonable as you tell him that men are shit.

Seriously. If he were a truly rational man, then instead of being angry at you for lumping him in with a bunch of dickheads, he'd sit there, listen, and try to understand. He'd direct the anger he feels at the assholes who wronged you; the wankers who gave men like him a bad name in the first place.

And indeed, if I were truly a rational man, then if someone were to tell me that "men are shit", I would probably say "I know, and I'm sorry". Math says that with 4 billion of us, we certainly have our fair share of assholes. Hell, I'm probably one of them.

But what I'm not is a truly rational man. None of us are. We're human like the rest of you. So please stop telling us that men are shit. It doesn't help. It just hurts.